11/08/09 “The Perfect Family Series” Part 4: Just The Two Of Us
Perfect Family Series Pt 4 – Just the 2 of us!
Proverbs 31:10-12 NLT
This morning we conclude our four part series called the perfect family – Of course the title is tongue in cheek, since NONE of us and I do mean NONE have the perfect family. In fact in parenting be sure to be honest with your kids about life, lest they think your way is the only way! It does appear that our illusion with perfection leaves many not wanting to even try to do anything to better their life or relationships. My hope is that this series has given you some tools that you can use to better yourself and those who you affect in life.
Throw perfect to the wind and take a tight grip on effort!
Before I conclude this series I want to give you a brief recap of the past three weeks and some things I hope you will take away.
Week 1 – Dating and the selection, never confuse the seeking portion with the selection portion. We naturally seek, however the seeking can cloud the selection. In the end, what matters most is not who the person is now, but who they will become!
Week 2 – Marriage – we looked together at the Hindrances and Hopes that are present to all marriages today. We talked about how cultural prevision has killed Gods plan for sex in marriage – and if I remember correctly, all of you said the word naked out loud in church J
Week 3 – Family-we talked about the role of the parent from a biblical perspective. We learned that these are NOT our kids but HIS! Our highest goal as a parent is to teach our kids about GOD!
Proverbs 31:10 NLT
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is more precious than rubies.
Proverbs 31:11
Her husband can trust her,
and she will greatly enrich his life.
Proverbs 31:12
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
I am intrigued by vs 11,12 – I always seek for the
higher in scripture. Meaning I look for the broadest
reach within the context. I read this verse is applicable to both man and women. It should be that both can trust the other and that neither will harm the other.
Pause and ask yourself this simple question. Does my spouse trust me? I want to move this thought to the deeper level of intimate and emotional trust. Do they trust you with there needs and desires? Can they share their life with you in a personal way and know that you will receive both what they share and them personally. Consider these three quick questions to tell you where you may stand on the trust issue – I am not talking about “do the believe you” I am taking this deeper to the emotional level of relationship.
Trust Test:
- Do I often reject my spouse?
- Do I neglect my spouse?
- Do I do things they object to?
The preceding thoughts give you some insight into how you may be doing now. Remember your today impacts your tomorrow.
Last week I made the statement that Kids will challenge your priorities. Nothing makes this more evident than the huge increase in the divorce rate for those whose kids have flew the coup. Lets talk this morning about the post kids season called the empty nest – it appears that even the title of this season, creates a sense of loss.
Before of the empty nest
1. Start working on just the two of us when it’s still all of us.
Proverbs 6:6 NLT
Take a lesson from the ants, you lazybones.
Learn from their ways and become wise!
Proverbs 6:7
Though they have no prince
or governor or ruler to make them work,
Proverbs 6:8
they labor hard all summer,
gathering food for the winter.
Proverbs 6:9
But you, lazybones, how long will you sleep?
When will you wake up?
Proverbs 6:10
A little extra sleep, a little more slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest—
Proverbs 6:11
then poverty will pounce on you like a bandit;
scarcity will attack you like an armed robber.
The ant thinks to the next season, the ant does
Not focus on the present season but what is
coming up. Pause today and ask yourself if you are
storing up right now or if you are soaking up.
Storing up will enable your future – soaking up will
leave you hungry
Often what seems to explode post children
was erupting during children.
Prepare; relationally, spiritually, financially, socially etc.
2. Protect yourself against a child centered home
Ecclesiastes 9:9 NKJV
Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life, which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 9:10
Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going.
In the empty nest
1. Commitment – keep it!
Malachi 2:15 NLT
Didn’t the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. ◙ And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.
Malachi 2:16
“For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty, ◙ ” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”
The number one reason to stay married; the greatest reason of all time is …………… you said you would! Your word is the one thing in life where you have total control.
2. Care – don’t forget!
Ecclesiastes 3:1 NKJV
To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
In life we all face the season changes. This is true annually and in a lifetime.
3. Challenge – stay involved (with life)
Romans 12:6 NLT
In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you.
Romans 12:7
If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well.
Romans 12:8
If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.
Do not fail to see that what you currently have in life, time, resources, wisdom and so on… all of these are gifts to you from God that God has given to use for His Kingdom
Avoid the temptation here to redeem your childhood or become self-centered. Many will see this as a big break for the obligation of others. Be sure your still centered around the Kingdom of God in this stage of life.
4. Communicate – start talking more than ever
Proverbs 11:14 NKJV
Where there is no counsel, the people fall;
But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.
At this stage of life, neither of you have the recovery time you once had. The decisions you make MUST BE down through counsel and full agreement of both you. As your eyes grown dim, a second set of eyes may be your life saver. Make every decision a “we” decision. No time for selfishness at this point.